First off I just want to say that I hope everyone had a merry Christmas and a happy New Year despite all the crap 2016 threw at us. We personally had a lovely, quiet Christmas just the two of us in our cozy home, and we managed to rearrange our schedules and take time off to fly over and surprise Stuart's family for a week just before New Year's Eve!
So 10-month update, here's what's happened since my last post in... June. :P I actually wrote a few posts that I immediately forgot about and left sitting in my drafts. It's been really busy, what can I say!
July/August/September were really more of the same - job hunting, weekend adventures with Stuart, still finding my way. I started going to a knitting group in the city at some point. I didn't really click with the group but I did make one friend!
October was BUSY! My parents came over for ~10 days which we split between Dublin and Northern Ireland. My dad bought a new camera for this trip, took thousands of photos, struggled with the food, and was very ready to head back to sunny NC at the end of 10 days haha, it meant so much that he came though - he's very much an indoor cat and he did enjoy several parts of the trip! My mom had a much easier time since she's a globe-trotter like me. She started planning her next trip before this one was even over and has already booked her (and my niece's) tickets for summer 2017. Stuart's parents came over for the weekend and we all got to spend some time together. We didn't do much for our first wedding anniversary (Oct. 17) because we had so much going on, but it was nice to have our families together in our first home. <3
And as soon as my parents went home, I started working! Finally, finally. Too many months of #housewifelife and I was so ready for a new beginning. I applied for a permanent, full-time position; got hired for a seasonal, part-time position; still ended up working full-time hours though. Such is the way of retail no matter where you are! It was a good, eye-opening experience. My boss was really nice and my co-workers were excellent! I got my National Insurance number sorted out (like a Social Security number - it's mine for life and I never have to go through this again) and I got some contacts I can use for references. Not really that different from retail work in the states, but I learned a lot about how people speak here - different words for things and where they put inflections. My mom says I talk a little funny now, my accent's still the same but my voice goes up in different places than before. I'm excited to hear how it changes when I've been here longer.
All in all it's been a great success settling in to life in the UK - not all sunshine and roses, but nothing I can really complain about too much. Job hunting in Scotland has begun in earnest now that the holidays are over. We're hoping to move sooner rather than later, so we certainly have our work cut out for us. I'm going to try and keep a better record of this new journey, and our belated honeymoon in April! 2017 is going to be a great year, I'm sure of it. :))
American expat in the UK - former LDR - US to Scotland ✨
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Home Sickness (and why it's different when you move vs when you visit)
**I'm writing this as a small insight into my personal experiences
as a new expat. I'm also hoping it will help people understand what
it's like whether you plan on moving to another country or know
someone who does. Not everyone will experience things the way I do –
take what you will from this. :)
The biggest difference when you move versus when you visit or study abroad is that there's no end date. When you feel homesick and you're visiting, you can count down how many days/weeks/months you have left which 1) comforts you that it won't last forever and 2) reminds you to enjoy yourself because it won't last forever. When you move however, there is no end date. This is home now. And no matter how much I like it here, how much I love waking up to my husband, or how much I enjoy crafting, cooking, and just living in *our* space... I loved my old home too! Twenty-five years worth of memories of life including: birthday parties, children growing up, movie nights, and a million other wonderful things. It took time to build those memories, it's going to take time to make my new country "home" too.
Another thing that makes it hard is that you lose a sense of familiarity. If I get sick in the US I know exactly what medicine to take, now I need help picking out the right thing. If I have a craving for a particular food, I sometimes have to ask if it even exists here. Adjusting to a new language or dialect, new currency, and new protocols for things that you take for granted back "home" (e.g. going to the doctor) all factor in to making the big move pretty confusing. AND on top of all that, you're likely still navigating immigration and how to establish yourself in a new community as a very foreign person - take it from me, not easy!
This last one.. I'll admit that this may just be me. I am the baby of my family after all! So a small part of what makes it hard is accepting that I'm an adult now and my decisions (and mistakes) are all on me. When Stuart and I first discussed expediting my visa – I called my mom to ask permission! I remember crying on the phone and saying something like “I know I'm 25, I'm married, and I pretty much 100% take care of myself now.. but I feel like I need your approval!” and I remember my mom laughing and reassuring me that everything was going to be okay... (which she still does regularly over Skype) I'm not sure I'll ever stop needing that reassurance for big life decisions, but it's certainly a lot harder to get with a 5 hour time difference!
So no matter how long you’ve wanted this, or how hard you worked for it, it's normal to be sad from time to time. You have to feel what you feel, and at those times I turn to Stuart for extra cuddles and remind myself that the happiest people don't have everything, they just make the best out of what they have. The same things I did when I missed Stuart, are now the things I do when I miss my friends/family/country. Hang photos, try to communicate regularly (skype, snapchat, facebook, and email have been so useful for that), stay invested in people's lives, figure out when you can see them again, and introduce your new friends/family to some of your favorite local dishes (#SouthernSunday - it's called comfort food for a reason, people!). But also, start new traditions, discover new favorite foods, make new friends, and recognize that this experience is not one that everyone has - there are as many ups as there are downs and it's really all about perspective - even a bad experience can be laughed at!
As my mother reminded me recently, change is the only constant. When we finally make our way back to Scotland I know I'll be a little homesick for Northern Ireland too.. that's just the way things go. So when asked if I'm homesick, I just say “I am home.” and continue to focus on the positive and enjoy the ride. :)
**I also want to add that you're not a failure and it wasn't a waste, if you move and then go back home. As Terry Pratchett wrote in A Hat Full of Sky, "Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving." Though we have no plans of leaving the UK, who knows what the future will bring? Either way it will all have been worth it.
The biggest difference when you move versus when you visit or study abroad is that there's no end date. When you feel homesick and you're visiting, you can count down how many days/weeks/months you have left which 1) comforts you that it won't last forever and 2) reminds you to enjoy yourself because it won't last forever. When you move however, there is no end date. This is home now. And no matter how much I like it here, how much I love waking up to my husband, or how much I enjoy crafting, cooking, and just living in *our* space... I loved my old home too! Twenty-five years worth of memories of life including: birthday parties, children growing up, movie nights, and a million other wonderful things. It took time to build those memories, it's going to take time to make my new country "home" too.
Another thing that makes it hard is that you lose a sense of familiarity. If I get sick in the US I know exactly what medicine to take, now I need help picking out the right thing. If I have a craving for a particular food, I sometimes have to ask if it even exists here. Adjusting to a new language or dialect, new currency, and new protocols for things that you take for granted back "home" (e.g. going to the doctor) all factor in to making the big move pretty confusing. AND on top of all that, you're likely still navigating immigration and how to establish yourself in a new community as a very foreign person - take it from me, not easy!
This last one.. I'll admit that this may just be me. I am the baby of my family after all! So a small part of what makes it hard is accepting that I'm an adult now and my decisions (and mistakes) are all on me. When Stuart and I first discussed expediting my visa – I called my mom to ask permission! I remember crying on the phone and saying something like “I know I'm 25, I'm married, and I pretty much 100% take care of myself now.. but I feel like I need your approval!” and I remember my mom laughing and reassuring me that everything was going to be okay... (which she still does regularly over Skype) I'm not sure I'll ever stop needing that reassurance for big life decisions, but it's certainly a lot harder to get with a 5 hour time difference!
So no matter how long you’ve wanted this, or how hard you worked for it, it's normal to be sad from time to time. You have to feel what you feel, and at those times I turn to Stuart for extra cuddles and remind myself that the happiest people don't have everything, they just make the best out of what they have. The same things I did when I missed Stuart, are now the things I do when I miss my friends/family/country. Hang photos, try to communicate regularly (skype, snapchat, facebook, and email have been so useful for that), stay invested in people's lives, figure out when you can see them again, and introduce your new friends/family to some of your favorite local dishes (#SouthernSunday - it's called comfort food for a reason, people!). But also, start new traditions, discover new favorite foods, make new friends, and recognize that this experience is not one that everyone has - there are as many ups as there are downs and it's really all about perspective - even a bad experience can be laughed at!
As my mother reminded me recently, change is the only constant. When we finally make our way back to Scotland I know I'll be a little homesick for Northern Ireland too.. that's just the way things go. So when asked if I'm homesick, I just say “I am home.” and continue to focus on the positive and enjoy the ride. :)
**I also want to add that you're not a failure and it wasn't a waste, if you move and then go back home. As Terry Pratchett wrote in A Hat Full of Sky, "Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving." Though we have no plans of leaving the UK, who knows what the future will bring? Either way it will all have been worth it.
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Week 1 Check In
For so long Stuart and I have been dreaming of the day that we would be settled in the same country. We've worked our butts off to make this a reality and after months/years of planning and a few weeks of intense stress we made it! Today concludes my first week living in Northern Ireland and maybe if you didn't know me you'd assume that I would be relaxing and taking it easy.. but who are we kidding, I've got things to do!
It started off slow, Monday I:
But after that I just couldn't sit around anymore. Tuesday-Thursday had me:
It started off slow, Monday I:
- was greeted at the airport with roses
- had lunch out
- hugged and loved on my hubby A LOT
But after that I just couldn't sit around anymore. Tuesday-Thursday had me:
- making a lot of lists
- unpacking most of my boxes
- building a shelving unit for my craft room
- picking up my residence permit (most important!!)
- learning how to use a British oven and washing machine (so many funny buttons)
- putting photos of our family around the house
- going out to post a letter
- ending up walking around the lake
- it's a 5k path with multiple side paths
- I got lost twice
- and walked the whole thing - oops!
Friday was somewhat relaxed..
- we planned out our weekend
- planned out vacation time
- and I discovered my new favorite ice cream - Pigs In Mud!
But the weekend was back to work for me! After a quick afternoon-long trip to IKEA (so spoiled to have one 30 min away now :D) on Saturday, I cleared out the rest of the unused office and built two chairs and another shelving unit!
Yesterday I found my way to the mall - where our post office lives ?? and today I registered at the local doctor's office and made TWO appointments.
There have been hiccups - to be expected when moving to a foreign country. I feel like I'm walking around with a giant sign over my head that reads "AMERICAN" and I wonder how long it'll take to wear off. I'm not obviously foreign like I was in South Korea, but for some reason I'm more self conscious about it here. Fortunately I have a lovely partner who completely supports my desire to stress cook. We've started two new traditions (both food related of course) and when he went out for groceries on Sunday, he came back with a surprise crock-pot. Now if that isn't love, I just don't know what is. :)
Saturday, March 5, 2016
It's Not Goodbye, It's Next Time in Ireland*
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."
-Anatole France
Hi friends,
It's been a strange few weeks. In case you missed it, here's what's been going on:
- Stuart and I filed for my visa
- we got approved one week later
- we bought my one-way plane ticket for one week after that
- tomorrow, I start the long journey to a new life in the UK
I've closed my bank account, eaten at all my favorite places, and packed my life into a few small boxes and a suitcase - it's time. It's bittersweet like I always knew it would be; The sadness of a long distance relationship is that once you're in one, you're never out. If you're the one who moves it simply transfers from significant other to family and friends. And as exciting as moving to a new country is, the past few weeks have given me a deeper appreciation for all things "Southern".
But I'm thankful for all the opportunities that have been granted to me - and I look forward to bringing a touch of Southern culture to my new home. When I come back (and I will because there's no Chick-fil-A in Northern Ireland) I'll look forward to sharing some of my new culture with all of you in the States. :)
*Disclaimer: I recognize that saying Ireland implies "Republic of" and not "Northern" and that I, in fact, am moving to Northern Ireland which is part of the UK - however the cheapest flights are more often than not into Dublin (on a Tuesday!) so most likely anyone who visits will initially see me in Ireland first before journeying north. :)
Monday, February 15, 2016
Hello 2016, Goodbye Distance Forever!
"You're married now, can't you just move there and be done with it?"
I have been asked this more than a few times and my god, I wish it was that easy! Unfortunately, it's not - we've had to condense our relationship over the past 3+ years into a stack of forms and photos roughly an inch high. There's no official list of what evidence we need to include and there's no co-sponsors so this is all on us. As two recent graduates - that's a lot! However, after months of work (mostly just this past month) and an unreal amount of cash (thanks grandparents in Scotland SO SO much!) we're coming to the end of phase 1 and I'll be shipping my documents off tomorrow! With priority processing (and another staggering fee) we should have an answer within 1-2 weeks. :)
Main requirements for the UK Spouse Visa include:
1) We are a legitimate couple. Our marriage is legal and recognized in both countries.
2) We intend to live together and have adequate space to do so. (Hello beautiful townhouse in Northern Ireland - I can't wait to make you into a home!)
and finally,
3) We meet the financial requirement. This is the kicker for most couples because it isn't small - but thanks to Stuart's wonderful job we can prove that I won't be a burden on the government. ;)
Provided all of the evidence I'm sending results in an approval, we're good to go for two and a half years! I can legally work and will have access to health care immediately, though I will still have to pay for doctor's appointments and prescriptions :( . We can finally start planning our honeymoon, put down roots, and stop worrying about dropped calls, bad connections, and time differences. No more expensive plane tickets and missed celebrations... For nearly three years we've been making it work long distance and we are more than ready for what comes next.
We have never been so excited to say goodbye at the airport as we were this past time - I cannot put into words how good that feels that in less than a month's time I'll be going home for good.
I have been asked this more than a few times and my god, I wish it was that easy! Unfortunately, it's not - we've had to condense our relationship over the past 3+ years into a stack of forms and photos roughly an inch high. There's no official list of what evidence we need to include and there's no co-sponsors so this is all on us. As two recent graduates - that's a lot! However, after months of work (mostly just this past month) and an unreal amount of cash (thanks grandparents in Scotland SO SO much!) we're coming to the end of phase 1 and I'll be shipping my documents off tomorrow! With priority processing (and another staggering fee) we should have an answer within 1-2 weeks. :)
Main requirements for the UK Spouse Visa include:
1) We are a legitimate couple. Our marriage is legal and recognized in both countries.
2) We intend to live together and have adequate space to do so. (Hello beautiful townhouse in Northern Ireland - I can't wait to make you into a home!)
and finally,
3) We meet the financial requirement. This is the kicker for most couples because it isn't small - but thanks to Stuart's wonderful job we can prove that I won't be a burden on the government. ;)
Provided all of the evidence I'm sending results in an approval, we're good to go for two and a half years! I can legally work and will have access to health care immediately, though I will still have to pay for doctor's appointments and prescriptions :( . We can finally start planning our honeymoon, put down roots, and stop worrying about dropped calls, bad connections, and time differences. No more expensive plane tickets and missed celebrations... For nearly three years we've been making it work long distance and we are more than ready for what comes next.
We have never been so excited to say goodbye at the airport as we were this past time - I cannot put into words how good that feels that in less than a month's time I'll be going home for good.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
If At First You Don't Succeed.. Or Why We Did Two Engagement Shoots
I don't think I posted many photos from either (fixing this today!) so it might surprise some of you to learn that before we were married, Stuart and I actually booked two engagement shoots. One happened in Scotland just after Stuart proposed and the other only days before we were married in Raleigh.
In Scotland we did our research, looked extensively through our photographer's blog before we booked, picked a meaningful location, and went shopping for new outfits. Our photographer spent time talking to us beforehand, but didn't give us any direction after we started shooting.
In America, I found an ad on Craigslist, looked at his blog once before emailing him, let him choose the spot, and we wore our comfiest (but not t-shirt quality) clothes. Our photographer didn't chit-chat much, but he guided us into shots and even posed himself to show us what to do.
Now I'm not saying either photographer is better (though one was certainly better for us), but it is interesting to note that what we THOUGHT we were looking for was actually exactly what we didn't want! While we liked the laid-back feel of our first photographer's work, I don't think we were comfortable enough behind the camera to really get great shots.. plus my hair is unruly and covered my face in most of our photos.
It was an expensive lesson but honestly, if you're not happy with the way something turned out - it's worth it to try again. Our second shoot captured some really lovely moments and since photos mean so much to me I know they're something I'll always treasure.
In Scotland we did our research, looked extensively through our photographer's blog before we booked, picked a meaningful location, and went shopping for new outfits. Our photographer spent time talking to us beforehand, but didn't give us any direction after we started shooting.
In America, I found an ad on Craigslist, looked at his blog once before emailing him, let him choose the spot, and we wore our comfiest (but not t-shirt quality) clothes. Our photographer didn't chit-chat much, but he guided us into shots and even posed himself to show us what to do.
Now I'm not saying either photographer is better (though one was certainly better for us), but it is interesting to note that what we THOUGHT we were looking for was actually exactly what we didn't want! While we liked the laid-back feel of our first photographer's work, I don't think we were comfortable enough behind the camera to really get great shots.. plus my hair is unruly and covered my face in most of our photos.
It was an expensive lesson but honestly, if you're not happy with the way something turned out - it's worth it to try again. Our second shoot captured some really lovely moments and since photos mean so much to me I know they're something I'll always treasure.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
The New Mr. and Mrs. McGhee
It's been less than two weeks since our big day and I'm still sorting through photos and feelings. I thought I would be more nervous the day of, I wasn't; I thought I would feel different afterwards, I do and I don't; and I thought I would finally be able to relax, but thank you cards don't write themselves!
What I am sure of is that I am incredibly happy and October 17 was one of the best days of my life.
Thanks to everyone who made this a reality! Special thanks to Katie who came in from Boston and took on jobs with very little heads-up - what a star! And of course my eldest sister Allison who we literally could not have done this without! She officiated our ceremony and mixed the perfect amount of humor with romance - it was breath-taking.
And thanks to you! Everyone has been so supportive of our journey! It's not over yet, but we are steadily moving closer to permanently settling in the UK. :))
What I am sure of is that I am incredibly happy and October 17 was one of the best days of my life.
Thanks to everyone who made this a reality! Special thanks to Katie who came in from Boston and took on jobs with very little heads-up - what a star! And of course my eldest sister Allison who we literally could not have done this without! She officiated our ceremony and mixed the perfect amount of humor with romance - it was breath-taking.
And thanks to you! Everyone has been so supportive of our journey! It's not over yet, but we are steadily moving closer to permanently settling in the UK. :))
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Too Tired For Clever Titles (this has been a crazy month!)
Hello again, people who read my blog! I've been meaning to write up a new post for ages, but things keep getting away from me.. so maybe just for this month a bullet list will have to do. :)
- The wedding of the century is in about 2.5 months now!! I am simultaneously calm and totally freaking out. There's so much to do, but the big things have been taken care of and invitations will be sent out soon so I'm making progress. :) We're thinking about either video taping the ceremony or possibly live streaming it since so many of our loved ones are all over the world, but we'll see!
- Stuart graduated! He got his master's degree in Forensic and Analytical Chemistry and I'm so so proud of him! I got to watch his ceremony online and I don't think I've ever been more thankful for technology. #ldrpowercouple
- He then promptly landed a job in Northern Ireland at the company he interned with after he left Greensboro and is currently moving into OUR new place this week!
- I say "our" because that's what he's been calling it, but I still won't move until next summer. However, this does mean that when it's time for me to move I'll be heading to Northern Ireland and not Scotland!
- NI is still a part of the UK though, so nothing changes as far as visas are concerned. We'll be eligible to apply in January - I'll talk more about this after the wedding I'm sure.
- I may have already checked google maps for the nearest library and knitting club though.. totally not excited at all. :P
- Last month I turned 25! I ticked off a little over half of the things I wanted to accomplish which was awesome! I'm working through the rest of my list at a more relaxed pace now, but it's been really fun having big and little silly goals to keep track of. I tried new foods, new workouts, and new crafts and made sure to spend more time on things I enjoy but don't do often like painting my nails and yoga.
- I am finally in the last stages of getting a job - after three interviews I am ready to start already! Free time has been nice but too much can drive a person mad! :P
I think that covers all the big things that have been going on this month/recently - I'll be writing a post soon with more details about our wedding plans so if you have any questions let me know and I'll try to answer them then!
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Let Me Tell You About My Dad..
It’s really beautiful seeing everyone’s posts about their fathers. Lots of them are accompanied by a photo of them as a baby with their dad, but my story is a little bit different.
I have a Tom. He likes computers, guitars, tanks, music made before the 90′s and a Japanese girl-group called Band-Maid. Tom came into our lives in 2004, when we needed him most. It takes a special person to not only accept my crazy mother (just kidding Mom! I love you!) But to take on her three daughters (14, 15, and 22) as well! The day I graduated from uni they called for all the parents to stand up, and seeing him standing beside my mom brought me to tears. If you don’t come from a broken home I don’t expect you to understand. We never officially acknowledged him as “Dad”, he just became that, at least for me.
So this is the oldest picture I have (featuring my mom hugging a bear), on our first of many family vacations. From day one he’s always been such a huge support system and I just hope he knows how much I appreciate everything he’s ever done for us.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
The Story of How Stuart Proposed
Let me preface all of this with: if you're looking for a "romance in the highlands" type story, you're better off punching that into amazon and purchasing whatever comes up. ;P
Long distance relationships have a tendency to steal a lot of spontaneity from you. Everything has to be planned and arranged and organized in order to work, so before Stuart had even left America in May of 2013 we had a long, deep, dull conversation about practicality and the future. It's not realistic to assume that we can just love each other enough to make things work - not when there's extensive paperwork and fees keeping us both in our respective countries. So we looked at visas, and came up with a vague timeline, and coordinated it with when we would actually be in the same country and agreed that sometime in the summer of 2014 we would get engaged. Now, I'm sure that doesn't sound terribly romantic, but moving forward in our relationship with the knowledge that we have so many obstacles in our way - it was too big of a decision to make without thoroughly talking it over.
Besides, I'm just not the kind of girl you spring things on! My mom has said that I require at least three days notice if any plans change and she's not far off. Though I have relaxed on this considerably, I don't react well to surprises. So on June 9, Stuart sat next to me and held my hand and said exactly what I had asked him to say when he was ready: "Girlfriend, you might want to wear your hair down tomorrow." Not that it would matter, a few minutes after he slipped on my ring the sky opened up and all chances for photos were lost!
We drove out to the Highlands on June 10th, through Glen Coe and up to Loch Ness - the place of my childhood dreams. I have long been interested in cryptozoology and plesiosaurs, so naturally Loch Ness was the ultimate romantic destination for me! We went through the Loch Ness Centre and Exhibition and learned a lot about the surrounding area. We tried (mostly in vain) to make our way down to the water and when we finally did, I promptly landed my foot in freezing cold water. It's not anyone's fairy tale but my own and I feel so lucky to have someone who respects and values my wants over what society dictates as "traditional". Anyway, we saw a rainbow on our way home, which I'm counting as Nessie's blessing. ;)
Long distance relationships have a tendency to steal a lot of spontaneity from you. Everything has to be planned and arranged and organized in order to work, so before Stuart had even left America in May of 2013 we had a long, deep, dull conversation about practicality and the future. It's not realistic to assume that we can just love each other enough to make things work - not when there's extensive paperwork and fees keeping us both in our respective countries. So we looked at visas, and came up with a vague timeline, and coordinated it with when we would actually be in the same country and agreed that sometime in the summer of 2014 we would get engaged. Now, I'm sure that doesn't sound terribly romantic, but moving forward in our relationship with the knowledge that we have so many obstacles in our way - it was too big of a decision to make without thoroughly talking it over.
Besides, I'm just not the kind of girl you spring things on! My mom has said that I require at least three days notice if any plans change and she's not far off. Though I have relaxed on this considerably, I don't react well to surprises. So on June 9, Stuart sat next to me and held my hand and said exactly what I had asked him to say when he was ready: "Girlfriend, you might want to wear your hair down tomorrow." Not that it would matter, a few minutes after he slipped on my ring the sky opened up and all chances for photos were lost!
We drove out to the Highlands on June 10th, through Glen Coe and up to Loch Ness - the place of my childhood dreams. I have long been interested in cryptozoology and plesiosaurs, so naturally Loch Ness was the ultimate romantic destination for me! We went through the Loch Ness Centre and Exhibition and learned a lot about the surrounding area. We tried (mostly in vain) to make our way down to the water and when we finally did, I promptly landed my foot in freezing cold water. It's not anyone's fairy tale but my own and I feel so lucky to have someone who respects and values my wants over what society dictates as "traditional". Anyway, we saw a rainbow on our way home, which I'm counting as Nessie's blessing. ;)
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
How To Plan A Wedding Across An Ocean
It's been a little over six months since Stuart proposed, and a little under nine months until our wedding - it's probably time that I started blogging about it! Now planning a wedding isn't easy by any means, but adding in the whole Atlantic Ocean really complicates matters..
Initially we were just going to head down to the courthouse, but Stuart's an only child and I'm the baby of my family so that just wasn't going to work for us (read: our moms). I'm not going to lie and say that this has been the easiest experience of my life, it really would be nice if I could just call Stuart or his mom to confirm details but distance and a 5 hour time difference is against me. So it's been complicated, and a lot of the excitement has been lost in waiting for responses to emails. But even with all of that, it hasn't been as hard as I expected and now that we're over the initial hump of planning (venue's been reserved, catering has been contacted, dress shopping will happen soon) it's starting to get a lot more real.
I'm starting to imagine what it's going to be like surrounded by friends and family - some of whom I haven't seen in years and some I haven't even met yet - celebrating us. I'm excited to have my family be a part of the ceremony and I'm excited that they're excited to help me pull this off. Even if they weren't serious, both my mother and my sister have agreed to bake pies (because cake is so 2014) and my niece has offered on several occasions to be my flower girl.
It's easy enough to get lost in what we don't have. The opportunities we're missing out on because we live so far apart, but whenever things get sad it's important to remember what we do have: family that's willing to help, friends willing to travel long distances just to be with us on our special day, and each other - the best support I could have asked for. That's how you plan a wedding across an ocean.
Initially we were just going to head down to the courthouse, but Stuart's an only child and I'm the baby of my family so that just wasn't going to work for us (read: our moms). I'm not going to lie and say that this has been the easiest experience of my life, it really would be nice if I could just call Stuart or his mom to confirm details but distance and a 5 hour time difference is against me. So it's been complicated, and a lot of the excitement has been lost in waiting for responses to emails. But even with all of that, it hasn't been as hard as I expected and now that we're over the initial hump of planning (venue's been reserved, catering has been contacted, dress shopping will happen soon) it's starting to get a lot more real.
I'm starting to imagine what it's going to be like surrounded by friends and family - some of whom I haven't seen in years and some I haven't even met yet - celebrating us. I'm excited to have my family be a part of the ceremony and I'm excited that they're excited to help me pull this off. Even if they weren't serious, both my mother and my sister have agreed to bake pies (because cake is so 2014) and my niece has offered on several occasions to be my flower girl.
It's easy enough to get lost in what we don't have. The opportunities we're missing out on because we live so far apart, but whenever things get sad it's important to remember what we do have: family that's willing to help, friends willing to travel long distances just to be with us on our special day, and each other - the best support I could have asked for. That's how you plan a wedding across an ocean.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Your Place Or Mine? ;)
It's hard to believe that I've been back in NC for less than a month because the summer I spent in Scotland feels like several lifetimes away! I keep thinking of the Chinese idiom "One day, three autumns" which basically means that when you miss someone, one day can feel like a very long time. Which these past few weeks have, but I can't really be upset.. in just 90 days we fit in everything under the sun (and rain!): five birthday parties, concerts, road-trips, a theme park, museums, a week in Greece, sea glass hunting, castles, The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo (search YouTube for videos, it was insane!), haggis, berry picking, a ghost tour of Glasgow and so much more! I'm still catching up with my blogs and photos!
Our most important task this summer though, aside from holding hands every waking second, was to finally decide where we'll move once we close the distance. I've always thought that we'd end up living in Scotland, but this summer we really looked at both countries and tried to weigh important factors such as support systems, job opportunities, the environment and school system we'll raise our children in, how hard it is to become a citizen, and how far away the nearest Taco Bell is. Neither country hit all the marks (why are UK visas so much harder to get than US? And why are all the TBells in England??) but in the end, Scotland won. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to really scope out my future home as well as meeting practically everyone Stuart's ever known! :P It was a blessing to spend so much time with such a loving family, to laugh and cry together, celebrate our engagement, and hold fast to each other through loss. So what's the next step for us? Just a little December wedding next year. :)))
Our most important task this summer though, aside from holding hands every waking second, was to finally decide where we'll move once we close the distance. I've always thought that we'd end up living in Scotland, but this summer we really looked at both countries and tried to weigh important factors such as support systems, job opportunities, the environment and school system we'll raise our children in, how hard it is to become a citizen, and how far away the nearest Taco Bell is. Neither country hit all the marks (why are UK visas so much harder to get than US? And why are all the TBells in England??) but in the end, Scotland won. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to really scope out my future home as well as meeting practically everyone Stuart's ever known! :P It was a blessing to spend so much time with such a loving family, to laugh and cry together, celebrate our engagement, and hold fast to each other through loss. So what's the next step for us? Just a little December wedding next year. :)))
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
How Has It Been A Month?
We're just about to head off on our next big adventure - a week's vacation in Greece! We haven't planned anything and we've barely packed, but I am so excited-!! The only thing I'm worried about is my poor furnace of a man who is hot even here - if I come back alone it's probably because he melted. :P I'm thinking that sometime after we come back I'll do a big photo post and another one just talking about our trip and my birthday and maybe one that just talks about how cute my sweetie is but you can feel free to skip that one. ;)
Now I'm off to get in some quality time with my ring as Stuart has requested that I not bring it on our trip even though I promised not to take my eyes off it! :(
Friday, June 6, 2014
Fun Fact: It's National Doughnut Day!
Well it's been three weeks so I should probably write a blog post.. oops! We started off kind of slow just relaxing and wandering around Stuart's village. I didn't think there was much to write about, we were just visiting with family and friends and enjoying being in the same country for the first time in nearly a year.
But then we got busy.
We went out to two birthday parties on the same night, the next day was Radio One's Big Weekend concert, we've been sea glass hunting twice, cooked dinner for the family, gone to a museum, and then were off on our first road trip (across Scotland, stopped on the edge of Edinburgh for donuts and fried chicken, down to England to go to Lindisfarne/Holy Island for a walk around and taste of mead, down to Stone for the worst Mexican food I've ever had, then to Stafford where we spent most of Wednesday at a theme park in the pouring rain and drove 5 hours home the same day!), yesterday we enjoyed fried pizza (I love this country) and Seona and I went to see The Great Tapestry of Scotland which was amazing! For better or worse though, it doesn't look like things will really slow down. Tomorrow we're going to an agricultural show, Sunday we're going to a charity "fun show", Monday we're heading out to Loch Ness and so on and so forth.
Today, however, we're just sitting at home. I've got my feet propped up, and a bar of crème brûlée chocolate at my side. I'm finally sorting through pictures and will be posting them throughout the day. Here's one for starters. :)
But then we got busy.
We went out to two birthday parties on the same night, the next day was Radio One's Big Weekend concert, we've been sea glass hunting twice, cooked dinner for the family, gone to a museum, and then were off on our first road trip (across Scotland, stopped on the edge of Edinburgh for donuts and fried chicken, down to England to go to Lindisfarne/Holy Island for a walk around and taste of mead, down to Stone for the worst Mexican food I've ever had, then to Stafford where we spent most of Wednesday at a theme park in the pouring rain and drove 5 hours home the same day!), yesterday we enjoyed fried pizza (I love this country) and Seona and I went to see The Great Tapestry of Scotland which was amazing! For better or worse though, it doesn't look like things will really slow down. Tomorrow we're going to an agricultural show, Sunday we're going to a charity "fun show", Monday we're heading out to Loch Ness and so on and so forth.
Today, however, we're just sitting at home. I've got my feet propped up, and a bar of crème brûlée chocolate at my side. I'm finally sorting through pictures and will be posting them throughout the day. Here's one for starters. :)
Somebody doesn't like being a tourist in his own city, but how could I resist?? :P
Saturday, May 10, 2014
This Time Last Year...
As the saying goes, this time last year everything was so different.
This time last year, Stuart and I decided to try and make this long distance thing work and on May 10 2013, he left to go back to Scotland. I remember us not talking about it much beforehand (big mistake!), I remember Stuart being in denial right up until he actually got in his cab, and I remember not breaking down like I thought I would. This should be impressive to anyone who knows me because I literally cry over everything, but this time I didn't. I guess subconsciously I found strength in the knowledge that though I am an emotional wreck at the best of times, I am also fiercely loyal and determined to see through anything I set my mind to. It's also helped to know that this nerd is head over heels for me!
This year has been the most insane roller-coaster - I was lucky enough to have a whirlwind visit to the UK in September (thanks Mom!) where we toured London, our parents met, and I got instantly hooked on clotted cream and the Scottish countryside - and now after being separated for eight impossible months, we're just a few days away from our summer together!
I hope to use this blog again (semi-regularly) to document all of the exciting (and not so exciting) plans we have! Loch Ness, Greece, and Newbiggin-by-the-Sea are just some of the places we plan on visiting!
So while Stuart wraps up his life in Northern Ireland with his leaving party tonight, I too will be wrapping up my life (for now at least) in the US with a leaving party of my own! And next week, the adventure begins.. :)
This time last year, Stuart and I decided to try and make this long distance thing work and on May 10 2013, he left to go back to Scotland. I remember us not talking about it much beforehand (big mistake!), I remember Stuart being in denial right up until he actually got in his cab, and I remember not breaking down like I thought I would. This should be impressive to anyone who knows me because I literally cry over everything, but this time I didn't. I guess subconsciously I found strength in the knowledge that though I am an emotional wreck at the best of times, I am also fiercely loyal and determined to see through anything I set my mind to. It's also helped to know that this nerd is head over heels for me!
This year has been the most insane roller-coaster - I was lucky enough to have a whirlwind visit to the UK in September (thanks Mom!) where we toured London, our parents met, and I got instantly hooked on clotted cream and the Scottish countryside - and now after being separated for eight impossible months, we're just a few days away from our summer together!
I hope to use this blog again (semi-regularly) to document all of the exciting (and not so exciting) plans we have! Loch Ness, Greece, and Newbiggin-by-the-Sea are just some of the places we plan on visiting!
So while Stuart wraps up his life in Northern Ireland with his leaving party tonight, I too will be wrapping up my life (for now at least) in the US with a leaving party of my own! And next week, the adventure begins.. :)
For now, here are some awkward photos of us from last May. :)
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Time Together Is Just Never Quite Enough.
I actually wrote this post last week and haven't really had it in me to publish.. this summer is looking to be quite challenging and I'm not sure I'm prepared. For anyone not paying attention, last year I started dating an exchange student from Scotland. On May the 10th his exchange was finally over and he went home. Before school let out, I kept getting questions from people about what we're going to do and I've been meaning to address that.
So, without further ado, this is how things are going to be: for the time being, I will be worshiping the god of technology for allowing our long-distance love to even be possible. We both still need to finish school and I need to get over my love affair with Asia. So I'm still planning on teaching abroad after university and we hope that Stu will be able to visit. He's been hearing about Korean food for almost a year now it would be so sad if he didn't get to try any! And by food, I do mean raw octopus. :D It is a delicacy after all! Anyway, assuming my love of Seoul doesn't spread like a virus, I'll probably move to the UK, start the arduous process of obtaining citizenship, get married, and live in a castle. Probably. ;) At least most of those things. Definitely the castle bit...
So I hope that clears things up. Yes, we're serious as a heart-attack. When we first started getting to know each other, we talked about what would happen down the road and whether it was worth it or not. And as much as I'm crying now, I knew this time would come and I'd still do it all again. The only thing I'd change is that I wouldn't have waited a month to ask him out. Seriously people, life is too short to be waiting for signs! What started out as something we both thought we'd have to let go of has blossomed into something worth fighting for and 3600 miles isn't going to hold me back.~
So, without further ado, this is how things are going to be: for the time being, I will be worshiping the god of technology for allowing our long-distance love to even be possible. We both still need to finish school and I need to get over my love affair with Asia. So I'm still planning on teaching abroad after university and we hope that Stu will be able to visit. He's been hearing about Korean food for almost a year now it would be so sad if he didn't get to try any! And by food, I do mean raw octopus. :D It is a delicacy after all! Anyway, assuming my love of Seoul doesn't spread like a virus, I'll probably move to the UK, start the arduous process of obtaining citizenship, get married, and live in a castle. Probably. ;) At least most of those things. Definitely the castle bit...
So I hope that clears things up. Yes, we're serious as a heart-attack. When we first started getting to know each other, we talked about what would happen down the road and whether it was worth it or not. And as much as I'm crying now, I knew this time would come and I'd still do it all again. The only thing I'd change is that I wouldn't have waited a month to ask him out. Seriously people, life is too short to be waiting for signs! What started out as something we both thought we'd have to let go of has blossomed into something worth fighting for and 3600 miles isn't going to hold me back.~
Sunday, October 21, 2012
The Adventure Continues... at 80%
Hello lovelies,
We seem to be on a once a month blogging schedule - Course work here is so much more demanding than I remembered and coupled with the groups I'm a part of and my boyfriend I just don't have any time. ~*^^*~
You read right, boyfriend. I keep telling people that being bold pays off - go to events alone, ask someone out to coffee, be fearless. It's not just advice I give, it's how I live my life and why I'm currently dating a gorgeous boy from Scotland. I probably would have blogged earlier about this but honestly I didn't want to jinx it and I didn't know what it was. To be fair, I still don't really. Which is why you'll notice my status is "It's Complicated" - it is and it isn't.
If you know me well, you know that I have a tendency to over think things and to worry about nothing. We're together, but this is different from anything I've experienced before - it's slower, sweeter, and time limited. The kind of romance that you know will break your heart but you can't help but be drawn to it. I'm throwing all good sense to the wind and embracing fearlessness. I'm focusing on enjoying this moment right now. I'd rather live a life with no regrets than look back and think "What if?".
Besides, if you could see the way this kid smiles at me you'd understand. If you could hear the way he tells me that I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen you wouldn't even question my judgement.
We learned in my Buddhism class that impermanence is another word for perfection. If life were not impermanent, it would not be the wonder that it is. Leaves fall, and out of them eventually grows new life. It can be beautiful - but only if you let it. This may not be exactly perfect, but right now it's pretty damn close.
We seem to be on a once a month blogging schedule - Course work here is so much more demanding than I remembered and coupled with the groups I'm a part of and my boyfriend I just don't have any time. ~*^^*~
You read right, boyfriend. I keep telling people that being bold pays off - go to events alone, ask someone out to coffee, be fearless. It's not just advice I give, it's how I live my life and why I'm currently dating a gorgeous boy from Scotland. I probably would have blogged earlier about this but honestly I didn't want to jinx it and I didn't know what it was. To be fair, I still don't really. Which is why you'll notice my status is "It's Complicated" - it is and it isn't.
If you know me well, you know that I have a tendency to over think things and to worry about nothing. We're together, but this is different from anything I've experienced before - it's slower, sweeter, and time limited. The kind of romance that you know will break your heart but you can't help but be drawn to it. I'm throwing all good sense to the wind and embracing fearlessness. I'm focusing on enjoying this moment right now. I'd rather live a life with no regrets than look back and think "What if?".
Besides, if you could see the way this kid smiles at me you'd understand. If you could hear the way he tells me that I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen you wouldn't even question my judgement.
We learned in my Buddhism class that impermanence is another word for perfection. If life were not impermanent, it would not be the wonder that it is. Leaves fall, and out of them eventually grows new life. It can be beautiful - but only if you let it. This may not be exactly perfect, but right now it's pretty damn close.
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